My girlfriend wants me to spank her. Should I feel guilty?

07. July 2018 Love and Sex 0
Mariella says, don’t worry about it. You’d be surprised how many people find slapping, biting and other mild forms of masochism a stimulant to their carnal pleasure The dilemma I’ve been with my partner for nine months and everything about the relationship has been great – bar one thing. The sex has been wonderful, but she has a thing about wanting me to spank her. At first I laughed, as I thought it was quite an odd request. But it was clear she was serious, and this is where the problem lies. I have spanked her a few times and, though it arouses her, it makes me feel guilty. I feel bad for all sorts of reasons. But I wonder if I’m overreacting: she is far from submissive in day-to-day life and, as she’s said, it’s her choice. This is a difficult subject to write about, and I don’t know if others have similar concerns. I want us to be able to enjoy sex without anxiety, and would appreciate your views. It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about with anyone. read more

I want to sleep with as many women as I can – even though I could lose my girlfriend

07. July 2018 Love and Sex 0
I know it’s selfish and that I might get caught, but I can’t help myself. The thrill of the chase is like an addiction I have a very nice and pretty girlfriend but I can’t help wanting to have sex with as many women as I can, even though I might get caught and lose her. It’s completely unfair on her and I fully realise this, but it’s the persuasion and the chase as much as anything. I’m middle-aged and the ladies tend to be in their early 30s. I’m divorced with two youngish children. It’s selfish and I’m not sure it will make me happy in the long run, but it’s like an addiction. Is there anything to be done? read more

Your new partner may be hiding a debt secret – so ask | Radhika Sanghani

07. July 2018 Love and Sex 0
Asking about money is a dating taboo, but it’s worth risking looking unromantic and mercenary to find out the truth There are questions that are acceptable on a date. Do you have siblings? Are you into rock climbing? Do you even like your job? And questions that just aren’t: when was the last time you had sex? What was your ex like? Are you in debt? One of the biggest taboos when dating is discussing money. It’s awkward enough having to discuss the bill situation let alone asking what the other person earns and whether they’re in the red. It’s just not done in British society – to the point where people even find it uncomfortable to ask for pay rises, or tell their friends how much they earn. It’s seen as vulgar, crude, and – if you’re doing it on a date – peak gold-digger. read more

My life in sex: ‘I was paid £1,500 a night for posh dinners and dull sex’

07. July 2018 Love and Sex 0
The former escort I’d had six sexual partners when I met my now ex-husband at 23; by the time I left him 10 years later, I’d had nearer 106. I didn’t realise it at the time, but our relationship was grounded on my ability to disassociate sex and love, and his madonna/whore complex. He kept me at arm’s length emotionally, but there was nothing he wouldn’t do to me physically. read more

A letter to… my friend with benefits

07. July 2018 Love and Sex 0
‘We would regularly congratulate ourselves on avoiding the complications of relationships. But I do love you’: the letter you’ve always wanted to write I’ve just seen you again after about 10 years, three marriages and four children between us, and it feels as if nothing has changed. But of course it has. We’re in our 40s now; both older, a bit fatter (well, me, certainly), a bit more jaded. Those heady days of our 20s are well and truly behind us. Gone are the days of no responsibility – and even this lunch date had to be planned well in advance. read more

Melania’s back. But where has she been? | Hannah Jane Parkinson

07. June 2018 Love and Sex 0
The US’s first lady went missing for 24 days as the rumour mill ground away. Let’s take a look at some possible scenarios She’s back. Like the Backstreet Boys. Or Lazarus. But if Lazarus had had treatment for a “benign kidney infection”. We talk of course of first lady Melania, who hadn’t been seen for a full 24 days before an appearance on Monday night. (Which was closed to the press. So not really an appearance.) read more

My relationship with my daughter is now as bad as with my ex | Dear Mariella

07. June 2018 Love and Sex 0
The father of a teenager struggles to keep things civil with her – just as he used to with her mother. Mariella Frostrup says the couple’s ‘emotional hangover’ is hurting everyone The dilemma I don’t know what to do with my teenage daughter (she’s turning 18 this month). I left her mum five years ago, and moved into a flat close by. Since then she has not sent me a text or a card or anything on my birthday or at Christmas, never invited me to a birthday party or thanked me for gifts and money. Looking back through all the messages she has sent me, every single one has been either an angry tirade or a request for a lift. If I do everything she wants and give her a lift every time she wants it, she is at least indifferent, if not, she gets really angry. She has an older brother and it was difficult with him for a few years too, but we’ve been getting on better recently, and we’ve even gone to the pub a couple of times (at his suggestion). But I have seen zero progress with my daughter. She uses the same phrases as her mother when pointing out all my character flaws and I can’t help feeling that as she gets older, she is becoming more and more like her mother, which is bad news for our future relationship. I feel that I can do the right things every time and when I trip up once I undo all the good things immediately. read more

My sexless marriage is draining the love it once had

07. June 2018 Love and Sex 0
We’ve only been married for nine years, but my husband has always refused to initiate sex. Now I’ve overcome breast cancer and this isn’t how I want to live I’m 38 and have been married for nine years. We are no longer having sex, for at least the past 12 to 18 months – not even the slightest touch. He has always refused to even mention our sex life and made it clear I was not to come on to him; we could only have sex when and where he initiated it. I had breast cancer in 2016 and although I am fully recovered he has no interest at all. This is not how I want to live; in a sexless marriage that’s draining the love it once had. I didn’t fight cancer for this. read more