The wife whose husband came out
My husband was always very tactile and loving but rarely wanted to have sex with me, even in the early stages of our relationship. He eventually stopped altogether after about four years. He was vague about the reasons and never brought up the subject himself. I begged him to have therapy, and he always agreed, but he never did. read more
This has happened with every man I’ve liked in the past decade. It’s disheartening and I’m starting to resent my friends
I was secretly in love with a friend for more than a year. When I confessed my feelings, he said he felt the same way but that it was bad timing – he had recently got out of a relationship. However, a month later he said he couldn’t see us progressing romantically. I recently found out that, around that time, he began seeing one of my best friends. She’s a lovely person, and a model, so it didn’t surprise me. The problem is that every man I’ve liked in the past decade has chosen one of my close friends over me. It is incredibly disheartening and I feel utterly unlovable. Worse still, I am starting to resent my friends. What can I do to stop feeling so bitter? read more
Every day millions of people ask Google life’s most difficult questions. Our writers answer some of the commonest queries
If you’re typing “have I already met my soulmate?” into Google, the chances are you’re in a similarly ambiguous emotional place to the one I found myself in six years ago. Had I messed up my sole chance at passionate romantic happiness with “the one that got away”? Would I die alone, rueing that missed opportunity? Or should I settle for a more companionable partnership and a sense of family?
Related: The secret to… avoiding the same old arguments with your partner read more
He says he used to masturbate very regularly and believes he has become desensitised. The situation is taking its toll on him and I would dearly like to do something to help
I have been with my boyfriend for a while, and we have had plenty of sex but he has a hard time finishing. He says that he is very close to ejaculating but just can’t. We have each done research online, and looked into switching condoms, lubes, taking supplements and more. He often says that he used to masturbate very regularly and thinks that he may have become desensitised. The frustration is taking a toll on him and it would be so nice to find something that will help him. read more
You deceived a buddy and made a poor choice of lover – it’s time to confront the choices you have made
The dilemma I have been in an unhappy, loveless marriage for a long time. As a result of this, a couple of years ago I had an affair with a friend’s husband. I had always felt there was a connection between us and after one drunken night we had the courage to explore if there was anything more. He told me he loved me and that I was his soulmate. But he claimed that his marriage was a happy one and that he also loved his wife. read more
A young woman who thought she had everything mapped out perfectly is suddenly on her own – and the jealousy is unbearable. Mariella Frostrup says it’s hard but it’s time to look to the future
The dilemma A year ago, my partner of 12 years (fiancé of five) told me he wanted to end our relationship. We had bought a house in my dream town and just sent out wedding invitations. I found myself, aged 26, living with my parents – the beautiful future I had planned stripped away. I discovered he was seeing a woman from work. It became obvious he left me for her. I’ve had counselling and continued working, even tried dating, but I’m desperately unhappy. My future is insecure, all my peers are getting married and starting families, and I feel I will never find love again or have the family I wanted by my 30s. I’ve cut contact with lots of friends as I’m so humiliated and jealous their lives are on track. I have often thought of suicide. Meanwhile, she has replaced me in all aspects of his life: staying in the house where I stripped wallpaper until my hands bled, having dinners in the little romantic local pub. I live in fear of her getting pregnant, or them getting engaged. I think if I hear that news it will kill me. We did everything together from when we were 14 years old and life feels empty without him. I’ve thought of moving abroad to escape, but I know the pain would follow me. read more
I often wondered why my partner insisted I go in the shower before her, and now I know. Is she insatiable?
I have been in a relationship for nine months. I thought the sex was good for us both, but when we finish she tells me to shower. I wondered why, and now I know – she masturbates. She has done it multiple times; I think she is insatiable. What should I do? read more
In her final column, written before she died last week, the writer remembers meeting three boys on the French Riviera. Who could have guessed they would take her joke seriously?
From running as Miss Ruislip to the perils of old age: the best of Michele Hanson
Heartbroken, weepy, 18 and desolate after being dumped by my first serious boyfriend, I went to stay with a girlfriend in Cannes. Lucky me to be able to buzz off to the French Riviera. My friend’s family ran a small B&B, in which I stayed. Every day, I walked to the beach, alone, while my friend was working and often passed and chatted to three amusing British boys, who were giving out leaflets. But they were in trouble. They had put their possessions into left luggage and couldn’t afford to get them out, even with their leafleting wages. They couldn’t go home, the price was rising, their luggage was trapped and they were stumped. And hungry. read more
And by friends, I don’t mean women he is hoping to one day wear down to date or sleep with
When you first meet someone and fall in love, your number one focus is to screen them for signs of sociopathy so you don’t wake up one day and find them knitting your hair. read more
Rather than blame your genitalia for everything that’s gone wrong, says Annalisa Barbieri, try to work out where the real problem lies
Back in my youth, my love life was a string of rejections, based on lack of confidence in my physical attributes (6ft 4in, reasonably attractive, bright, humorous, caring, but with dangly bits a hamster would be worried about). It was ego-bruising, getting laughed at. I’d avoid beach holidays, changing rooms and even ran away from uni to avoid the humiliation. read more