I do, again: ‘There is nothing as deadly serious as a second marriage’

07. May 2018 Love and Sex 0
Dress from a charity shop, no cake and a midweek ceremony – but don’t think my second wedding is a joke We arrived, my betrothed and I, at the register office to give notification of our marriage. It was the last possible moment we could have done it, because my divorce took so long to come through and his was so long ago that he’d lost the piece of paper. It was also the emergency walk-in morning, so everyone else needed an urgent death certificate, or was a too-old baby who’d missed the registration deadline. Tensions were high and everyone seemed on the point of tears, because they were bereaved, or they were seven weeks old. read more

Life gets better after 50: why age tends to work in favour of happiness

07. May 2018 Love and Sex 0
Jonathan Rauch, author of The Happiness Curve, was relieved to find an explanation for his gloom – academics say adulthood happiness is U-shaped When Jonathan Rauch fell into the doldrums in his 40s, he had no idea why. Life was good: he had a successful career, a solid relationship, good health and sound finances. Then he learnt about the happiness curve and it all became clear. read more

All by myself: the joys of being single

07. May 2018 Love and Sex 0
Christina Patterson used to be ashamed about being single, but after hearing others’ stories, that feeling has gone For most of my adult life, I have been ashamed of being single. At weddings, I have felt my smile crack. I once walked out of a friend’s book launch when he gave a speech about finding the love of his life. I felt sick with envy, physically sick. But when I got home, what I felt most of all was shame. I didn’t understand why my friends had managed to succeed in an area where I had so spectacularly failed. read more

Is it weird to say sorry to my ex three years on? | Dear Mariella

07. May 2018 Love and Sex 0
Do it! Says Mariella. Keep it simple, keep it brief, write it from the heart The dilemma Three years ago, I split up with my girlfriend of seven years. I felt very unhappy and put it down to the relationship. She was devastated and wanted to resolve things. But by that stage I’d made my mind up. I’ve lived a quiet, celibate life since, which has given me time to reflect. It struck me that I’d been very selfish – after an initial romantic period where I pulled all manner of stunts to impress her, my effort as a boyfriend tapered down to the bare minimum. Secondly, I realised they had been the best days of my life. We went on amazing adventures which we probably wouldn’t have done otherwise, and had very different skills sets, which complemented each other. After we split up, I made little effort to maintain our friendship, maybe because I felt guilty. Now I’m ashamed of how I treated her and can’t forgive myself. I want to write and apologise, but it sounds weird and inappropriate. It’s hard to write without it sounding like a rapprochement, which it isn’t. Is writing such a letter an appropriate thing to do? read more

My life in sex: ‘After three decades of marriage, my husband announced he was gay’

07. April 2018 Love and Sex 0
The wife whose husband came out My husband was always very tactile and loving but rarely wanted to have sex with me, even in the early stages of our relationship. He eventually stopped altogether after about four years. He was vague about the reasons and never brought up the subject himself. I begged him to have therapy, and he always agreed, but he never did. read more

I feel unlovable – men always choose my close friends over me

07. April 2018 Love and Sex 0
This has happened with every man I’ve liked in the past decade. It’s disheartening and I’m starting to resent my friends I was secretly in love with a friend for more than a year. When I confessed my feelings, he said he felt the same way but that it was bad timing – he had recently got out of a relationship. However, a month later he said he couldn’t see us progressing romantically. I recently found out that, around that time, he began seeing one of my best friends. She’s a lovely person, and a model, so it didn’t surprise me. The problem is that every man I’ve liked in the past decade has chosen one of my close friends over me. It is incredibly disheartening and I feel utterly unlovable. Worse still, I am starting to resent my friends. What can I do to stop feeling so bitter? read more

Have I already met my soulmate? You asked Google – here’s the answer | Rosie Wilby

07. April 2018 Love and Sex 0
Every day millions of people ask Google life’s most difficult questions. Our writers answer some of the commonest queries If you’re typing “have I already met my soulmate?” into Google, the chances are you’re in a similarly ambiguous emotional place to the one I found myself in six years ago. Had I messed up my sole chance at passionate romantic happiness with “the one that got away”? Would I die alone, rueing that missed opportunity? Or should I settle for a more companionable partnership and a sense of family? Related: The secret to… avoiding the same old arguments with your partner read more

My boyfriend has difficulty climaxing. Is it because he masturbates too much?

07. April 2018 Love and Sex 0
He says he used to masturbate very regularly and believes he has become desensitised. The situation is taking its toll on him and I would dearly like to do something to help I have been with my boyfriend for a while, and we have had plenty of sex but he has a hard time finishing. He says that he is very close to ejaculating but just can’t. We have each done research online, and looked into switching condoms, lubes, taking supplements and more. He often says that he used to masturbate very regularly and thinks that he may have become desensitised. The frustration is taking a toll on him and it would be so nice to find something that will help him. read more

I had an affair with my friend’s husband, but he’s now betrayed me | Dear Mariella

07. April 2018 Love and Sex 0
You deceived a buddy and made a poor choice of lover – it’s time to confront the choices you have made The dilemma I have been in an unhappy, loveless marriage for a long time. As a result of this, a couple of years ago I had an affair with a friend’s husband. I had always felt there was a connection between us and after one drunken night we had the courage to explore if there was anything more. He told me he loved me and that I was his soulmate. But he claimed that his marriage was a happy one and that he also loved his wife. read more