Phwoar, get an eyeful of all that top Tory beefcake… | Barbara Ellen

07. February 2018 Love and Sex 0
If handsome guys lean to the right, how do you explain Trump and our leading Conservatives? The secret is out. A US study, published in the Journal of Public Economics, says that more attractive people tend to politically identify as Conservative/Republican and that it’s precisely because they are so gorgeous that they have such a hard time believing that less fortunate people may need state help. read more

For a happy family life, think free-form jazz | Tim Lott

07. January 2018 Love and Sex 0
Running a successful household requires kindness, respect, intimacy, shared meals, phone-free times – and the ability to improvise I am coming to the end of my time as a Guardian Family columnist, so I thought I would use my final contributions to summarise what I have discovered or pondered over during the last four years – a few principles worth thinking about if you hope for a functional family life. read more

A new year that changed me: a sexual awakening, and a lesson in loss | Alice O’Keeffe

07. January 2018 Love and Sex 0
Transfixed, Will and I peered over the wall into the garden of adulthood – little knowing the fathomless sadness that lay in wait there In my family there is a before and an after: one event against which everything else is measured. The new year that changed me took place just “before”, and my memories of it have the tantalising glow of all precious, lost things. It was 1990-91, and I was 11, fresh from my first term at secondary school. My parents had been invited to stay and see the new year in with some friends in their cottage in Pembrokeshire. My sister, Jess, and I were dragged along reluctantly. We didn’t really know Brian and Carla, who were relatively new friends of my parents. read more

My boyfriend has changed his mind and now wants children | Dear Mariella

07. January 2018 Love and Sex 0
Mariella Frostrup advises a woman of 22 not to make her mind up yet about becoming a parent The dilemma I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and recently he has decided he wants kids when before we both shared views on not wanting them. He believes time will change my mind (he is 31 and I am 22), but I know myself. I am ready for every other big step in life – getting a house with him, getting married – both of which he has not expressed he wants. I want to believe I will change my mind, but I’m afraid it will then be too late for him to have kids. I’m scared he’ll resent me if I don’t give him a baby. And worse, I believe I will resent him if I do. Any advice? I don’t want to leave him, but I’m afraid it’s the more responsible decision. No matter how much it will hurt. read more

Why do we hold on to first impressions in a relationship?

08. December 2017 Love and Sex 0
We need to take responsibilty for our mistakes in choosing our partner rather than simply justifying it to ourselves I have been reading Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, a book about cognitive dissonance – the phenomenon that arises, with uncomfortable feelings, when two deeply held internal points of view come into conflict with one another. To avoid such feelings, we resort to self-justification. read more

My life in sex: ‘I fantasise about Davy Jones, David Cassidy and David Essex’

08. December 2017 Love and Sex 0
The 62-year-old post-menopausal woman Since 2010, my sex life has been 3D, retro and virtual. It involves Davy Jones of the Monkees, David Essex and David Cassidy, all as they were between 1971 and 1975. They arrive in my head, resplendent in flares and tank tops, gazing out through smoky, heavily lashed eyes and whispering in deep, dark tones that can only be detected by the ear of a teenage girl. read more